Like so many things in life, my opinion on Valentine's Day has shifted through the years. 

I grew up liking it--not really "loving" it, but enjoying it. Another excuse for candy (my view on Halloween also started positively due to my love of the sweet stuff) and classroom parties. 

Then I became a teenager and never seemed to have a boyfriend on this special day. So it turned into a day of wishing...dreaming... and disappointment.

Ahhh, the heartache of a teenage girl. Is there anything so horrible?

As a young adult, general apathy at this "holiday" shifted towards dislike. Disdain. Hatred. 

I'm not a hateful person. And, to be honest, I "hate" using the word hate. It's one of those words that is too strong, too powerful, yet casually thrown around. So I really try to not use it. I try.

However, I found this holiday to be so fake and empty that I really hated it. I'll never forget a conversation I had with a friend waaaaaay back in which she outlined what her expectations were for Valentine's Day with a boy she had just started dating. She had BIG plans. I casually mentioned that it was a lot and she simply said, "It's Valentine's Day. It's what you're supposed to do."

That's when I decided I was officially done with this holiday. I wouldn't even say the "V" word anymore. It was dead to me.

Ahhh, the dramatics and absolutes of a young adult. Is there anything so horrible?

My opinion was that I'd rather the person I was dating or in love with buy me a bouquet of flowers on a random day to show his love for me rather than on this "hallmark holiday." Plus, he'd spend less money and it would mean more because I wouldn't be expecting it. 

Sure, I was single and you could say that coming to this conclusion was based solely because of that fact. While I can't say it wasn't partially to blame, I can honestly say in years later when I was dating (and eventually married) my feelings on this day did not shift.

Until I had kids.

Having kids makes you softer on some things and tougher on others. My "strong" feelings about Halloween and Valentine's Day are just two examples of opinions that softened. I like making holidays special for the kids. I like seeing their excitement over giving something they've made to their friends and family. I like celebrating instead of rolling my eyes. (But I do like rolling my eyes. A trait my daughter has unfortunately picked up from me. The teenage years are going to be fun.)

So my opinion on this holiday softened a bit for my kids. But I was, in general, still not a fan of V-Day.

Until I recently had another evolution of thought and two things occurred to me. 

First of all, what is so awful about a day that's sole purpose is to encourage people to tell those they love that they love them? Sure, in an ideal world people would just do this. People would randomly buy flowers for the person they love, just because. People would send cards to the special people in their lives and tell them how wonderful they think they are for no reason at all. Just to pass love around. But, life happens. People get busy (another word I really...dislike...). And we tend to take for granted those closest to us, the most. 

And secondly, the "hallmark" holiday-ness of this day is optional. You don't have to get sucked into all the pomp and circumstance, you can make it special in your own way.  

Ahhh, the wisdom of a mid-thirty year-old. Is there anything so wonderful?

While it's hard to totally let go of almost two decades of extreme dislike over this holiday, I am coming around. I'm not going to be singing from the mountaintops my love of all things heart-shaped and red and pink, but I also won't be angrily formatting my thesis in my head as to why this is the worst day of the year.

As far as my husband is concerned, if you are reading this (which you should be) don't worry. I have no expectations for a dozen roses or box of chocolates or a corny card or a bottle of wine. 

Well, maybe that bottle of wine. Always that bottle of wine.

{P.S. Here's my post on Halloween...including some (very) old pictures of yours truly, dressed up. M&M anyone?}

xo Sara