Minsgame Week One: The Sentimental Value Battle
It's November, which means it's Minsgame time! (In social media talk: #minsgameBOSS time!)
Not sure what I'm talking about? Check out the intro post, here.
Here's what I've gotten rid of so far.
Day One: 1 pack-n-play
Day Two: 2 bags of empty Stella & Dot jewelry boxes (from a former business of mine)
{Plus my husband's stuff (not pictured):
Day One: 1 stack of papers, shredded (from refinancing this spring amongst other stuff)
Day Two: 2 shirts that were a tad past their prime}
Official Household Total: 6 items
Unofficial Total: 205+ (due to 100+ S&D boxes, 100+ papers)
My day one object was a big one for me. My children are 4 and 5, well outside of pack-n-play age. However, until this fall, I was also watching two other children, three days a week, and one of them used it for her naps. So I did have a reason for hanging on to it for as long as I did.
However, I've been done watching them for two months. And yet it still was in our house. I wanted to get rid of it, but felt resistance. Not from my husband, or anyone else, but from me.
Eliminating the pack-n-play was getting rid of one of the last baby things I had in the house (besides baby clothes--that's coming later in the month). It was closing a chapter of our lives, a chapter I've said I'm over (the having more babies chapter) but still I felt...sad.
I think it's normal. Normal to be ready to move on but to still feel sadness over what you're leaving behind. We know we don't want any more kids. We are very happy with our family of four (five with our pup, Copper!) and the thought of adding another baby into the mix actually brings anxiety to both my husband and I. But...it's an ending and sometimes we need to mourn that, just a bit.
Which brings me back to the object that has taken on the job of symbolizing all my sentimentality of being done with babies, of missing my own babies when they were babies: the pack-n-play. Holding onto the pack-n-play doesn't make that sadness go away; holding onto it actually adds to my sadness by attempting to physically hold onto the past. Do I really need the pack-n-play to be in my house in order to remember my children at that stage in their lives? No. I have memories. I have pictures. Goodness do I have pictures.
The more I get into minimalism and purposefully looking at the objects in my house, the more I see how often sentimentality holds me back from releasing things.
This is from someone special.
This reminds me of someone.
This reminds me of a place.
This reminds me of a time in my life.
I made this.
My kids made this.
This was made for me.
This was the first time…
This was the last time...
The sentimental value of items isn't something to take lightly, but it's also not a reason to default-keep things. I have a ring and a book of my father's that I like to physically hold and help make me feel a little closer to him. I love these two things, specifically, because jewelry and reading are a couple of my favorite things and it's nice to have some things from my dad that reflect those passions. Since he passed away when I was very young, it makes me feel like he was still able to pass on some things specifically to me, based on who I became. He never knew me as a woman, but with these objects I'm able to carry him with me, as a woman.
There are also a few things that I know I want to keep to hand down to my kids. So, while they may feel like "space-fillers" right now, I want to keep them. I have a bin that those things go in. Then, when the kids are older, they can decide which things they want to keep and what they want to release.
Even though those examples are relatively easy, there are still a lot of items that I feel a tug at my heart and I'm not sure what to do. For example: my kids' art work. They are only 4 and 5 so I know this is just beginning, but the struggle is real. Or old journals of mine. Cards and letters. I could go on and on.
This idea of minimalism is a process, especially when dealing with the sentimental value we attach to things. But I will say that one thing has changed in how I look at things in my house: I no longer just assume I'm keeping things. In fact, I look at objects more as: "Why should I keep you?" instead of wondering IF I should get rid of something. I want to be sure I have a solid, real reason for keeping the things I decide to keep.
Sentimental value and minimalism. They used to feel counterintuitive to me, but I don't think that anymore. I'm actually finding that the things I choose to keep, I'm keeping for better reasons. Not "I should keep this" but rather "I WANT to keep this BECAUSE..." Purposefully evaluating the things in my home has made me love the things I keep even more.
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Don't forget! Anthony from Break the Twitch, Laura from One Girl, Two Cities and Heather from Simply Save are your other hosts...go check out their week one recaps!
Finally, if you are participating and want some support, join our Facebook group!