Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains within the sound of silence

Death and I have been acquaintances for years. Longer than I would prefer, first getting to know each other when I was 10. 

I never look forward to his visits. It doesn't seem to matter how close we get, how prepared I am for his arrival, or how many times I see his work, each time Death arrives I'm left gasping for breath, wondering how it's possible. 

Death reached his claws into an old high school acquaintance this time and I can't stop thinking about him. 

It's funny when you think about people from your past, how with some you have vague impressions but others you see crystal clear. He's someone I haven't seen in real life in probably close to 20 years, yet I still have a bright, clear picture in my head of him from high school. Someone always smiling, quick with a joke, eager to make all around him laugh. Someone full of LIFE. 

Someone silenced way too soon.

I heard about my old HS acquaintance getting sick from a mutual friend. And he wasn't just sick, it was ALS.

F*** ALS. It's an awful disease. F*** it. And if you were one of those people who complained about the ice bucket challenge go check out how much money that "stupid" and "ridiculous" and "pointless" challenge earned for ALS and then tell me how you feel. 

After hearing about his illness, I started to follow his story. I wanted to reach out but also thought that was selfish--he had more important things to occupy his time that with the random thoughts of a girl he knew in high school.

His story wasn't hard to find, he was featured on KARE 11 and also on the ALS website. He was a beloved member of the community I grew up in, including becoming a teacher at our old elementary school.

I haven't spoken with him in almost 20 years. I have no idea why it's so emotional for me, besides the obvious reasons. He was so young to be facing such a diagnosis; he has little kids; he was a teacher that influenced so many children and was robbed of the opportunity to continue influencing the future generation.   

Then there are the "self-centered" elements, too--he was a year older than me, reminding me of my own mortality; he's someone I used to know; he has young kids. 

He has young kids. Why can't there just be an understanding with Death. Don't take kids, don't take parents with young kids. I have young kids. I was once young and lost my dad, too.

Is it possible to feel incredible sadness about the death of someone you used to know? Yes. 

Because they occupied a piece of your life.
Because at one time, you were connected.
Because a loss is a loss, no matter when you last spoke. 

Today, I write. I write when I'm sad. I write when I'm angry. I write to figure out how I feel. I write because sometimes the words come out of me at such a speed that I need to write them down, otherwise I'll forget. 

I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget my dad. I don't want to forget anyone I've lost in my 37 years. 

I don't want to forget Carl. 

And I'd like you to remember him, too. 

Here's what Carl's family asked. I think it's something we can all do. 

Can I ask you all a favor?

Our beloved friend, Carl Nowlin, died this morning. This is typically when people type, “Prayers for his family,” “Eternal rest grant unto him,” “May God welcome him into his arms,” etc. Carl was the most ethical and principled man I’ve ever met, but he was not religious. As a matter of fact, in one of our many conversations about religion he shared with me that he can distinctly remember sitting in a church as a teenager listening to the pastor talk about being a good person. He thought what if all of these people went out and actually did something good in the world for this hour instead of just listening to someone tell them to be good. So that is what he did, not just for an hour, but for the rest of his short life.

So here’s my favor: in lieu of “prayers for him,” “eternal rest grant unto him,” and other comments about heaven, Jesus’ loving arms, and getting angel wings, can each one of you do something today for another that you would not normally do to make this world a better place? Maybe it’s as simple as curbing your road rage and letting someone merge in front of you…do it for Carl. Maybe you buy someone’s Caribou or groceries this morning…do it for Carl. Or maybe you decide you want to donate to the ALS foundation so that those suffering from this horrible disease can find the support and hopefully a cure someday…do it for Carl.

Feel free to share this and post what you did, plan on doing below, or just " ‪#‎forcarl‬" as your commitment to act, but please DO SOMETHING today to make this world a better place, and do it for Carl.
#forcarl

Take a moment and make this world a better place. For Carl.  

xo Sara