I'm really lucky.
For a lot of reasons...I have a husband who would do anything for me, a couple of kids that do about 30% of what I ask of them, a big extended family that (mostly) live nearby and my grandparents are still kicking.
Literally.
My grandma and grandpa kick up their heels 2-3 times a week square dancing and ballroom dancing.
At 86 years young they show no signs of slowing down. There's only been two times in the 40+ years of dancing together (they got married in 1972) that they've paused. Ten years ago when grandma broke her hip, they took about 5 months off. That's right--my, at the time, 76-year-old grandma took only 5 months off after breaking her hip. The second time was last year when grandpa had a heart attack. However, they resumed dancing almost immediately...against wifely advice, according to grandma. You can't keep them down.
But I already knew that. I mean, would you expect anything less from a woman who had 9 kids in 11 years?
9 kids in 11 years. No twins. From 1951 - 1962 my grandma was pretty much always pregnant. Whenever I think I have it tough I think about her. I remember when I found out I was pregnant with B and had a 12 week old baby at home, I cried (part joy/part ohmygodicantbelieveimpregnantagain) and said something to the effect of not believing I'd be spending two years in a row being pregnant. My mom then mentioned that little fact about my grandma. Which resulted in the pity party ending pretty quickly.
You can't keep them down and they are resilient. Strong. There are so many examples of this, but I'll share just one. In 1964, when my grandma had 9 kids aged from 1 to 12, her husband died. The pain of losing your husband is hard enough, but having a full house on top of it...well, I can't imagine.
But grandma survived. She put one foot in front of the other and kept going. For the next 8 years, with support from her sisters (she has 7 of them), friends and neighbors, she raised her children. She was mom, dad, cook, seamstress, teacher, warden, housekeeper. She did it all.
Then in 1972 she married the only man I've known as grandpa.
Talk about strength and resilience. And bravery...grandpa married a widowed woman with 9 kids. My mom told me how grandma would say telling him that she had 9 kids was like the movie, "Yours, Mine, and Ours" and the humor of Lucille Ball's character when having to tell her date about all her kids; the shock factor of flipping open her wallet & letting the pictures of all her kids fall down in a nice little row. Unlike the movie, grandpa didn't have another dozen kids or so to add to the situation but like the movie, he loved grandma--kids included.
Together they have led our family through happy and hard times, celebrated births, mourned deaths, laughed to the point of tears, wiped away tears of pain, played cards (from 13 to 500) and danced.
As a child I remember going with my grandparents to watch them dance. It was a treat for a couple of reasons--number one, late bedtime (score!) and secondly, I was mesmerized by their dancing and all the skirts. The fluffy skirts that caused the little girl in me to beg grandma to "spin! spin!" so I could see it fly out.
My daughter loves dancing, which is fitting considering she's partially named after my grandma (her name is Elena and my grandma's name is Elaine; she's also named after my husband's grandma, Lena). I decided to bring her to watch grandma and grandpa dance recently. When I told her the plans she asked if we were going to a ball. Like Cinderella.
When we walked into the hall we scanned the faces, looking for them. We found them, already on the dance floor. Of course.
It didn't take E long to get involved. Albeit from the sidelines, but she was into it.
So much so that collapsing on the floor for a break seemed like a good idea after a while.
Oh, and the skirts! They were just as colorful as I remembered. A couple of E's favorites were the "ladybug" dress and the "Frosty" skirt. And obviously great grandma's rainbow skirt.
While watching my grandparents dance, one woman told us how "light on his feet" my grandpa is and how he never has a problem finding a partner if grandma wants to sit one out. He's a charmer, that one.
Sitting next to grandma I joked that she gets more date nights than I do and is more social than I am. I say that I was joking and by joking I mean I was very serious.
She turned and gave me some advice.
She said that having dates with your spouse is very important. She added that dancing forces you to be close--emotionally and physically. It makes you accept missteps. They happen, but you keep moving.
So not only is my grandma the strongest, most beautiful and graceful woman I know...she's also the wisest.
Over 40 years and 23 grandkids (and 14 great grandkids) later they are still doing it. Still dancing. Still leading by example. Still laughing.
I can only hope I have a quarter of the grace, joy, strength and beauty that my grandmother possesses. And a fraction of the love my grandparents have. Because, if I'm doing the math correctly, that would be the perfect calculation for happiness.
Let me know if you need plans for Wednesday nights. I'll tell you where to find the hippest grandparents around.
xo Sara