I recently participated in a fun event--Moms for Moms day. A day to celebrate that every mom makes the best choices for her family. It was a day for overpowering all the ridiculous "mommy wars" out there (ie: SAHMs verses working moms; nursing verses formula feeding, public schools verses private schools verses home schooling--I could go on and on) and instead embracing each other with love and support.
It would be impossible to agree with all the choices other people make. And this movement wasn't about agreeing, it was about replacing judgement with support. It often feels like hate is easier to spread than love. But, when I feel myself slipping into the judging space (no one's perfect), I feel depleted. When I can acknowledge that something wouldn't work for me and my family but be grateful that my friend has found something that works for her, I feel good and I move on. Judging requires holding onto hate, while acceptance and gratitude moves you forward. I'd rather live in peace than hate. And I'd rather be happy for my friends than constantly battling to feel superior. What a lonely life that would be.
Moms for moms day was celebrated by uploading pics with "mommy confessions" onto various social media platforms {Instagram/Twitter/Facebook}. Here were some of mine.
My first post--what the whole day was about. What I wish everyday was about.
I started funny, but with some seriousness behind the message. I'm a little embarrassed by this mommy confession considering I'm such an advocate for literacy and reading...I feel guilty for having some days when I just can't. Can't wait another minute before it's lights out. Can't read the same book for the 100th time. Just. Can. Not.
Also on the lighter side, I always say that parents are the best "sneak-eaters" out there. We have no choice...unless we want to share. (And yes, I'm constantly talking about sharing and the importance of it to my kids, but...well, I'm the mom and I don't want to share my Girl Scout cookies, ok?)
This was a serious one, and a hard one to admit. I'm so lucky to be able to stay home with my kids. I've had the past 4 years of spending (almost) every single day with them. In hindsight those days are filled with wonderful memories and lots of laughing. In the moment those days are filled with laughing...and crying and screaming, and timeouts and Mickey Mouse and pretending and coloring and fights and temper tantrums...it's a lot. And no, I'm not a single parent, but from 8am until 6pm everyday I am. So I am dealing with all those things alone. The closest person to my age to talk to is my (almost) 4 year-old daughter. So, yes, it gets lonely. Would I change it? Most of it, no. But some of it, for sure.
After I posted these, and as I reflected on my confessions and the ones I saw other women share, I came up with a few more:
-I've made dinner for the kids using only the microwave. Not my best moment for a "healthy" dinner, but sometimes you do what you gotta do.
-I've turned on cartoons so I could breath and tune-out for a 20 minute span. And that's after the kids already had their "screen time" for the day.
-I've yelled when I wished I hadn't.
-I make forts with the kids because I love them. They like it at first, but I find myself spending more time in them than the kids.
-I like Disney princess movies. And so does my daughter...and my son.
So now I've just revealed some of my darkest secrets (if you came over and wanted a Girl Scout cookie I'd probably lie to you, too--just so you know). What about you? Any "mommy confession" you're inspired to share? And don't worry. I promise to celebrate you, not judge you. My husband laughs when I say this but I sincerely mean it--"If it ain't cute, put it on mute." And judgemental words and thoughts are not cute.
xo Sara