It's funny how some nursery rhymes mean more when you're an adult than as a child. I've known this little rhyme forever, but it has taken on new meaning in recent years.
< Make New Friends >
I'm 36. I'm a stay-at-home mom. I live in Minnesota--for 9 months out of the year people don't leave their homes.
Making new friends given those obstacles can be hard.
Don't get me wrong, I have a thriving social life.
Social media life that is. And it has helped me tremendously during this time. I love that I can pick up my phone, open my laptop or click on my iPad (yes, I love gadgets--that and accessories are my weaknesses) and instantly be connected to a community of people. It makes the solitary life of a stay-at-home mom feel not so lonely.
But. I digress.
Making new IN REAL LIFE friends is hard. It's intimidating. So many women my age are established. They have their core group. And they are busy. Too busy to make new friends.
Busy. I hate that word.
But, a strange thing has been happening to me lately.
I'm making new friends.
{Not to quote "Frozen" or anything, but...real, actual people. It's totally strange.}
It started a few years ago when I began selling Stella & Dot. The stylist community in Minnesota is fun and supportive; I've met some great women through this side business. And it's not just other stylists that I've met and become friends with since signing up with Stella & Dot. Some of my former hostesses and clients have become friends, too. So, with Stella & Dot, I got a fun side job that gives me a little extra money, tons of trendy, beautiful accessories, AND friends? Pretty awesome.
Then this "making new friends" epidemic continued with the blogging community. It really took hold when I went to the Minnesota Bloggers Conference and met some lovely ladies and started making more connections online. Then it has grown as I've started meeting some of those talented women in real-life.
Finally, since my kids are getting older, my friendship growth has spread to the moms of their friends. Also, neighborhood moms. Play dates are becoming more and more frequent, birthday parties are happening and I'm chatting more with moms at the park and at other activities. And some of those of acquaintances are becoming friends.
< But Keep the Old >
Now, there are two sides to every story. I love my expanding network of new friends. But I also love my old friends. My friends that have been there for me through the years. The friends that grew up with me, those that knew me before marriage and kids, the friends I met through my husband.
I've learned a couple things about these friends. The really good ones will be there for you no matter what. Even though you may go through times when you don't see each other or you don't even talk as much. However, when you can pick up your phone and call or text and take up again like no time has passed (meaning no guilt trips, no excuses; just good old reconnecting)... that's a good friend.
Now even though I really believe that, it's not an excuse to be lazy. And I've been lazy sometimes. I know that maintaining friendships requires work. All relationships require work. And sometimes I'm tired. I get absorbed in my own world.
I'm busy.
Ugh. Have I mentioned that I really hate that word? Aren't we all busy? Don't we all have stuff going on? To me it just feels like an excuse, a way out. Also a power play--a way to put yourself in a position of superiority ("I'm much too busy to talk to you. I have really important things I'm doing. I'm kind of a big deal.") Anyway, I try to not use it. But I do. Because I am kind of a big deal (I kid). And sometimes I just really am, well, busy (seriously).
The point is--I still need to make an effort. So this is a public promise to do better to those friends that may have felt neglected by me. I promise to try more. To reach out to you. To return your calls/texts in timely manners. I value you so much.
Because you are gold. And I would be lost without you.
I'm not a big new year's resolution person but one goal I do have for the new year is to take better care of my relationships--all of them. Old and new. I'm an introvert and can sometimes get stuck in my head. Last year my goal was to step out of my comfort zone more, which I did (this blog, going to the bloggers conference, meeting up with new friends). As we (quickly) approach 2015, my goal is to be more present and nurture all my friendships.
Do you make resolutions? If so, what's one of yours?
xo Sara