Spring and I have an interesting relationship.
When I was a child I loved spring. It meant it was almost summer and summer was when we spent almost every waking moment at our cabin or, at a minimum, outside.
Then I turned 10 and a few months after that my life forever changed.
My dad died on May 14th. Just as I was finishing up my 4th grade year, getting ready for more summer fun, everything just stopped.
And not only did he pass away in the spring, but his birthday is May 18th and then there's Father's Day, in June. As I grew older, I hated this time of year because for a solid month all I felt was sadness and overwhelmed with the memories of the spring of 1988.
Budding trees no longer represented new life, they symbolized death. The heat of the sun didn't warm and thaw me from the deep winter freeze, instead I felt cold and frozen. The bright blue sky was no longer just a vast entity whose size I couldn't comprehend, it was now the home of my father.
But, the ever reliable friend, Time, started to heal those wounds. Slowly spring started to bring more happiness. Then I met my husband. And he proposed in May. Soon spring became mostly a happy time, with just a few moments of reflection.
And then the most amazing thing happened. I got pregnant. And the due date? May 18th. My dad's birthday. Oh, and after I had my daughter (a couple of days late, May 22), I got pregnant again. And the due date? May 18th.
Do you believe in angels? I cannot deny my father's presence in my life, especially after all those "coincidences." I think he wanted me to embrace this season again and made it about life and not death. There was no more time to be spent on sadness.
So now May 14th is not a day I dwell on. And May 18th is his birthday and the "projected" birthdays of my children. And Father's Day is my favorite, because I once again have a reason to celebrate. On this day I celebrate my husband, the father of my children, for bringing joy back into my life during this season.
Now if I could just conquer these spring allergies, I'd be set.
My sister and I with our Dad on our last family vacation, summer of 1987
xo Sara