Thoughts of a SAHM--Morning/Target Trip Edition

Many days when my husband comes home from work he says something to the effect of: 

"Hey, slow down a minute, I'm home. I can help. Right now I just feel like I'm getting in your way." 

He's right...he is. But it's not his fault. I'm alone with my kids (and three days a week with 2 other kids, too) all day with no one to talk to besides a houseful of toddlers and preschoolers (and a dog).

And my head. 

I have lists in there. I have time tables. I have "this needs to get done before I can do that and I need to do it then because if I wait too long then {enter child's name here} will have a temper tantrum because that other thing isn't happening" circling in my noggin all day, everyday. So when my husband comes home it takes a bit for me to get out of my head and back to being a normal person. Well, as normal as this neurotic woman can be. 

Which makes sense. My husband has a roughly 30 minute commute home to decompress and leave work behind. Not that driving in rush hour traffic is the most relaxing thing, but he still has that transitional period. 

My transitional period is... well, considering I live where I work the transition from "the boss" to "the co-boss" is a hard one.

But his main complaint is that I don't really talk to him. I just run around him, might ask him to do something and if he doesn't do it like right.that.second. then I just do it. I keep going and going...as though I'm still alone, managing the kids, house, dog.

Reflecting on my mind activity the other day, I started to wonder what my daily thoughts were like and if I could try to capture them. 

Here are some of the highlights of just a couple of hours in my head (because no one needs to be in my head for too long--you may never get out).
One kid awake. 
5 more minutes.
Two kids awake. 
5 more minutes.
Two kids awake yelling for me. 
5 more minutes...
Ok, not happening. I need coffee.

10 minutes later. 
Is the coffee done yet? What is taking it so long?

2 minutes later. 
Ahhhhhhh, coffee. 
What can we do today that's fun. Maybe we'll do some crafts? I was reading about this cool idea the other day, what site was that...maybe I can find it...
Oh, I have alerts from Facebook! Let's check that.
This coffee is so good. 
What was I doing? Oh, yes, the craft...
Crap! What time is it! We're going to be late for preschool!

5 minutes later.
Why does E move so slowly? If I tell her we're late she moves slower. If I act stressed she'll get upset. So I'll just be calm and patient. I'll model patience. She needs that. I'll...

5 minutes later.
Ok. So I probably shouldn't have just snapped at her and told her to put her socks on her feet and not her hands. Now I have a crying girl.

5 minutes later.
Let's think about this. I need 5 minutes for her hair (those snarls!), we can get breakfast done in 15, I'll clean up when we get home. I'll line up boots at the door and get coats ready. Her backpack is on the door, shoes in it. I think we'll get there only like 3 minutes late. Which is basically on time. Actually it's early. We're totally fine.

5 minutes later.
Why do I get E dressed before breakfast. There's always a spill.

5 minutes later.
Ok, we'll be like 5 minutes late, still fine.

2 minutes later.
B needs a toy. And, of course, not just any toy, but the one car we can't find before we leave. Let's think about this. He likes to push his cars into tunnels or under things. Look under the couches. No. Look under the bench. No. Look in the heating grate...of course.

5 minutes later.
I shouldn't have scolded him. And now I have a crying boy. 7 minutes late. Just as long as I make it before 10 minutes. Because that's late.

1 minute later.
I forgot to feed the dog. I really am a horrible person. 7 1/2 minutes late.

1 minute later. 
I need new mittens. I can't buckle the kids in with these darn things on. Maybe after we drop E off at school we can go to Target. That would be so nice. I can buy a nice cup of coffee, we can wander around, have some mother/son bonding. It will be the best morning ever.

2 minutes later.
I forgot E's bag. 8 minutes late.

1 minute later.
I'll get a mocha. No, I wonder if they'll still have gingerbread lattes. Maybe just an americano, I'm feeling simple. And a croissant. I am so excited. This is turning out to be a great morning. 

2 minutes later.
I forgot my purse. It's sitting by the heating vent. 

1 minute later.
Of course, since we are running about 8 minutes late there are no parking spots. 

3 minutes later.
Why does she seriously move so s-l-o-w. I don't understand how she can take so long to take off her boots and slip on shoes. I wish I could just carry her. Not have to deal with boots. I could throw her over my shoulder and just carry her across the parking lot like a sack of potatoes. Anything is better than waiting for her to slip her boots off and slip her shoes on. That's literally all she has to do. Slip off. Slip on. It's like she knows I want her to hurry up. Is she being manipulative? Can you be manipulative at 4? Wait, where did B go...

1 minute later.
9 1/2 minutes late but under 10 minutes so I count it as a win. I rock.

10 minutes later.
Got purse, going to Target. I can't wait for my drink. B is so cute, he loves our errand mornings. This is perfect. We are so instagramable. Oh my god that is so cute. Instagramable. I obviously need to instagram our instagramable cuteness. 

10 minutes later.
So I knew he could scream but I didn't know he could scream SO loud. My eardrum is shattered. I seriously think it's ringing. All because they were out of Madeleine cookies. How do you run out of those darn little cookies? Those are like mommy bribery central. It's their fault he got so upset. They should have had them.

1 minute later.
Ok. It might have been my fault a little. Whatever. He's happy now. So I rock again.

1 minute later.
What was I coming here for again...
Well I need bread. And milk. And cereal. When don't we need those things? What is going to be like raising teenagers? I already feel like they eat so much. Teenagers. I can't imagine. It feels so far away but with E starting kindergarten in just a few months and then B next year...it's going to be here before I know it. 

1 minute later.
I will not start crying in Target. I will not start crying in Target. I will not start crying in Target.

10 minutes later.
I should not have stopped by the clearance section. Just a bad idea. I gotta get out of here before I find more that I need.

10 minutes later.
It is so darn hard getting B buckled in with these mittens. I really need a new pair...

Oh. 

I guess we can come back tomorrow.

*****

I hope you survived that jaunt into my brain. Luckily you get to leave. I'm stuck living here.

{P.S. If you like reading about imagined thoughts, check out this time I wrote about what I imagined my daughter was really thinking throughout a day.}

xo Sara

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Friday Favorites

Today's Friday Favorites is featuring a fast five. Hang on to your pants, here we go!
1. After a month of spending a lot of time in my home (I went a whole week, from Christmas Eve until New Year's Eve, without leaving my home ONCE) with my family (which I loved, except for the sick days) I'm back to connecting with friends and having some new adventures. Just this week we had dinner with old friends of my husband and their kids; I took my daughter to watch my grandma and grandpa square dance; I hung out with a friend and watched "Funny Face" (I love classics and that's one I'd never seen...I just adore Audrey); tonight I'm going out to dinner with another friend; tomorrow I'm giving a presentation on social media and later meeting some blogger friends for karaoke...whew!

2. Living in Minnesota has its pros and cons and the deep freeze we were in until recently is certainly a con. I don't mind cold weather and snow (I am a born and raised Minnesotan) but those bone-chilling, -40 degree windchill days is a bit much. However, a perk to those days is when the temp starts to climb it feels downright tropical. Who would have though 20 degrees could feel so warm? And then 30? And...gasp!...almost 40 tomorrow? I think that's shorts weather, right?

3. E has started swim lessons and I love seeing her develop an even deeper love of the water and confidence. Especially considering number 4...

4. I am currently planning...well, maybe counting down is a better way to put it...our family trip to Florida. My husband's parents rent a condo each February in Ft. Myers and we are joining them for a week. The last time we visited them in Florida was back in 2009, pre-kids. They have a nice pool and are right on the beach; I'm so excited for the kids to have this experience. Plus, as the big baseball fans my husband and I are (did you know prior to kids we would take trips to see the Twins play in different stadiums?), we loved going to spring training last time and will do so again. I really can't wait...I don't even think the airplane ride with the kids will be that horrible (or is that just wishful thinking?).

5. Finally, I'm super-extra-can't wait excited for my post on Monday. It's something I've wanted to write forever and I finally am. Plus, it's dedicated to a couple of very special people. I'm still working on it and can't wait to share it with all of you. A labor of love.

There you have it, a fast five round-up of my favorite happenings. Share your favorite current activity/event/anything in the comments and let's make this the happiest of Fridays, friends!

{P.S. If you love random posts about various things, check out this or this! And if that wasn't enough of an incentive to click on those posts, then I don't know what would be.}

xo Sara

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Times My Son Has Made Me Laugh

I always say that my kids make me laugh more than anything. It really is hard to be in a bad mood around them. Not impossible, we have our days, but hard. Here is a small sampling of a few times my son has made me laugh...or, at a minimum, smile...recently.
B likes to sing himself to sleep sometimes and over the holidays he was kind of obsessed with Frosty the Snowman. One night I heard him sing a new version:
"Mom-my the gi-irl, 
was a jolly happy girl."

Often when I change his sheets, he'll go to the front of his fire engine bed (which he calls 'Lightning') and says:
"It's ok, Lightning, we're fixing you. It's ok. It's almost done. It's ok...there! All done. Don't you feel better?" (All the while patting the top of the bed.)

Neil Diamond was singing on the TV. B points and yells:
"Daddy!" (I AM married to a rock star! Who knew?)

Regarding bedtime/naptime being over.
In a demanding mood:
"Mommy! Open. The. Door. NOW!"
Begging:
"Mommy, you want to open the door pleeeeeeeeeease?"
Encouraging:
"Mommy, you can open the door! Try! You can do it!"

When putting the towel around his waist after a bath to keep warm while I put lotion on his arms and face, he says:
"Ok, like Tarzan. AHHHHH-EEEEE!!!"

(Not so recent but I giggle every time I think of it. From last summer.)
Kids are anxiously awaiting Norah's arrival to celebrate her birthday. 
"I see her! I see Norah! Oh, no. That's not Norah, that's a house."

Finally, according to Brandon "happy new year" is too broad. Ever since January 1st, he's been saying, each morning: 
"Happy New Day!"

Each day is a "new day" full of new opportunities for him to make me laugh. Which he does.

Happy new day, friends!

{P.S. Here's a time I used E's words to describe her year.}

xo Sara

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Friday Favorites

My current favorite thing is...

A wonderful app I just discovered, Collect! 

I'm all about little projects that capture moments in time; I have a notepad devoted to the funny things my kids say (I once wrote a tribute to my daughter based on her sayings). I also love projects that take course over time--I've participated in several monthly "photo a day" challenges on Instagram and of course there is my book a week for a year activity. 

Scrolling through Instagram recently a blogger (Ellie Petrov) I follow posted a screen shot of a calendar that had pictures on each day--of her life. Reading the caption got me further interested. The text: 365 Days. 1 Day, 1 Pic, 1 App. The picture: A calendar with personalized pictures on each day. The outcome: A record of your year, one picture at a time.
Before you roll your eyes and say, "Sara. I follow you on Facebook/Instagram/(enter any other social media site). I think you have this covered." Let me just explain why I think this is so cool. 

First of all, this is not social media. This is your record--just for you and whoever you decide to share with (technically, you can share this on your social media accounts but the app itself isn't a social site). Secondly, I share a lot on various social sites, including a fair amount (translation: a lot) of pictures on Facebook and Instagram. But unless I remember to put every picture I post on Facebook into an album (which I try, but fail at this) it's hard to go back and track everything due to how Facebook displays things. Just try to scroll through your page on Facebook. The further back you go the more stuff is omitted or out of order. You certainly get a feel, but it's not a perfect system.

Then there's Instagram. Oh, how I love Instagram. I share a HUGE variety of pictures on this site. They vary from photos of my kids to how I wear my jewelry and even graphics I create for this blog. Even though, unlike Facebook, all the pictures ARE there and in order--it can be hard to filter through all those photos. I use hashtags on each of my pictures as a way to organize them into "albums," which is helpful, but regardless, Instagram is more like an ongoing stream. So while I love both of those sites, this app allows for a more focused dedication to a year in your life.

So here's the deal with Collect. It allows you to import from your camera roll or take a picture and load it to the appropriate day. You can load more than one picture per day, if you want, but I kind of like the idea of just picking one picture for the day (although I have cheated a couple of times with a collage of a few photos as my picture). You can add a caption, too--which, being the wordy person I am, of course I do. Then, at the completion of a year, you have documentation of every. single. day. You'll of course get all the big events, but you'll be surprised at the quiet times you'll capture, too. And it takes all those moments--big and small--to create a year.

It gets even better! The app is free (awesome, right?) and you can do everything I mentioned above on the free version. But there are a couple of upgrades that you can buy. The Creative Pack ($1.99) gets you more creative features for exporting, printing and sharing your pictures and the Videos Pack (also $1.99) allows you to share you photos as video slideshows. I have not purchased either, yet, but will more than likely buy the creative pack, at a minimum. 

I feel like I can hear some of your questions...

• Afraid you'll forget? Don't be--turn notifications on! They'll come through on your phone to remind you to take your daily picture (or to at least upload it to the calendar).

• Think it's too late to start? No! I didn't start until this week and you can go back and import pics from your camera roll for those previous days. And be honest--who doesn't have at least one picture from everyday already on there? (Or is that just me? Awkward...)

• What if you forget or don't have a picture from a previous day? Who cares! It doesn't have to be perfect and it's still going to give you a fantastic visual history at the end of a year. Plus, who's to say you need to do it for a year. I think even having a month history would be awesome, let alone a year. Plus if a daily photograph seems to hard, maybe a weekly photo? A bi-weekly picture? Don't stress yourself out with guidelines, just have fun with it. 

• What if it's 10 o'clock at night and you suddenly realize you haven't taken a picture yet and don't know what to do? Easy! Take a picture of what book you're reading, or what evening snack/beverage you're enjoying. Or step outside (as long as it's not -40 degrees or anything) and take a picture of your block at night. Or take a picture of your outfit for the next day (if you're a planner and organized enough to set it out...that would NOT be me). Or how about a picture of your planner, how you spent your day. I could go on and on. The things that make up your daily life will be just as fun to look at once the year is up as those super cute pics of your kids/pets/self/etc.

• Want to take it up a step? Have a theme! How about a daily gratitude calendar: everyday you take a picture of something you are grateful for; for the fashion-lover: take a picture of what you are wearing everyday (how cool would that be-a year's worth of outfits!); readers: take pics of your books (I imagine this would be more like a weekly installment, but still very cool to have that visual record, especially since books are so pretty); fitness gurus: a year in a healthy life (pics of your healthy snacks/meals, workouts, motivational pics/quotes); have your own business: a picture devoted to or about your biz (think: behind the scenes). 

Once the year is complete (or however long you decide to do it for) you have so many options for what to do with it. The blogger I follow printed hers out into a photo book and gave it to her husband for Christmas. What a great, easy, relatively inexpensive gift idea! Or create an album for yourself and your family. Here are step-by-step directions for printing out photo cards and six other suggestions from Ellie's blog. 

Ok, I'm a little too excited about this app so I should probably stop (and no I'm not getting paid or anything for this endorsement I just think it's that cool). If nothing else I hope I've inspired you a little--even if it's not to download this app.

What's your favorite app that you use daily? I have another app that I use to create the graphics I post to the blog that I'm totally in love with, too...perhaps another post in the future if anyone has any interest.

xo Sara

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Life Lessons, Straight from Mommy

I recently had a mommy moment that made me laugh until I cried. Cried out of incredibility. The things a distracted mommy will say to a whining boy without even thinking about it...until it's already out. 

Every night when the kids finish dinner and their fruit, they get to pick a desert. They call it "candy" because for awhile we had Halloween candy and they would choose from there. Now their choices range from Hershey kisses to granola bars. They get excited about deciding for themselves what they get and it's nice bribery for eating dinner and waiting for everyone to finish. Plus, it's a little treat and who doesn't like that?

One evening I left the table to do something and B asked for me to give him his candy. I told him daddy would do it and went into the other room. I heard daddy trying to give him his choices but he kept yelling for me to do it. Daddy gave up and when I returned I asked why he didn't let daddy help him. He said he wanted to wait for me. I distractedly replied that while that was nice, if someone is offering him candy he should just take it and be happy.

Yes. I'll stop for a moment and let you reread that sentence.

A sentence that I actually said OUT LOUD to my kids.

If someone is offering you candy, you should just take it and be happy.

Just take candy from anybody who is offering.

What. The. Heck. 

As soon as I said those words I stopped, said, "No, that's not what I meant..." and then daddy cut me off and explained that he was just trying to help, all the while shaking his head at me. 

And then I started laughing. I couldn't stop. Like belly laughs, snorting included.

I had just told my children that if someone is offering them candy they should just take it. 

Oh my--please don't call the parent patrol on me.
{P.S. If you love reading about my parenting missteps (because there are a lot of them and I write about them all. the. time.), check out Cars and Tunnels, Noisy Acting, or No More No.}

xo Sara

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Reflections on an Elf

I gave in this year and jumped on the "Elf on the Shelf" bandwagon. Which is funny considering I started to see this little elf-thingy pop up on my social media feeds (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter) a couple of years ago and had NO idea what it was. I actually thought it was a really old tradition that I had never heard of and while it looked cute, I moved on and didn't think much more about it.

Then there was last year. Oh my goodness. It. Was. Everywhere. Due to a severe case of FOMO (fear of missing out), I decided to do some investigating. I started asking around, trying to figure out what all the cool kids were doing.

A friend told me that it's a newer thing and it's a set you buy: a book (that explains the story) and an elf. She also warned me that it's a whole production. The elf watches the kids. Makes sure they are good and reports to Santa nightly. Then returns in a new spot in the house the next morning. (Oh, and the rules! Do NOT touch that elf...it will take away the magic!)

Well, I thought, that's cute enough. And I'm certainly not above using bribery to (attempt to) make my kids behave. 

So last year, on December 26, I took a little trip to Target. I thought maybe I could find one and maybe, just maybe, it would even be on sale since it was the day after Christmas.

But, no. It was not on sale and I was shocked to see the price. $29.95!

Before I continue, I am NOT judging you if you bought one at that price. I just had a hard time coming to terms with this new "tradition" I kept seeing pop up everywhere and the pressure I was feeling to participate (granted, of my own doing--certainly no one was forcing me to join in). Then, when I finally found this magical elf just to see the marketing machine hard at work, well, I felt a little disappointed. I decided it was just too expensive, for me.

So, that was that. We would not be participating. I was mostly ok with it. But I felt a little upset. Mainly because I really, really, really appreciate ANYTHING I can use to bribe my kids. ANY. LITTLE. THING.

Then a crazy thing happened! I went to a Barnes and Noble and there were the elves. For sale. $7. No book, but at least an elf.

I snatched one up, returned home and packed it away. Maybe I could make this work after all. 

Fast forward to a few weeks before Thanksgiving and on a whim I posted to some online garage sale sites that I was in search of an Elf on the Shelf book. Just the book, no elf. And a day later a woman posted that she had one and I could have it. $3.

$3! So, if you're keeping score, that means I got the Elf on the Shelf book and elf for $10, total. I was feeling pretty proud of myself.

Until 2 things happened.

1. My kids were absolutely petrified of her (Sparkles) at first.
2. I realized my elf wasn't the "official" elf and started to have some insecurities about that...which I quickly got over because, come on. $7. Winning.

My kids lost their fear by the next morning, but that first day was pretty funny. After they refused to walk or stand by where I had placed her she had landed for the day, my daughter asked, "Is it real or a stuffed animal? Will it stay in the living room?" At bedtime she added, "Make sure my door is closed." And my son kept saying, "I scared. It scary."

So I wrote a note Sparkles wrote a note (due to the wonderful advice of a good friend) and the next morning everything was forgotten. They were excited. It was a new thing--and they loved the hunt each morning. Where would she be? 
All was well in the world.

Until 2 more things happened.

1. I kept forgetting to find a new place before I went to bed and would wake up in a panic.
2. I started seeing all the "Why We Don't do the Elf on the Shelf" and "Participating in Elf on the Shelf is Ruining Your Child" or "Elf on the Shelf: The Worst Thing in the World and You Should be Angry About It" articles/blog posts. (*I may have embellished one, or more, of the titles.)

So, with any "cool new thing" the critics eventually enter with lots to say. I could link up to an article that explained all that is wrong with this "tradition" and do a point-counterpoint approach, but I don't have time for that. Because you know what?

Elf on the Shelf isn't for everyone. I have no desire to try to convince you that it is. You know your family, your kids. You know yourself. And trust me--if you have a hard time remembering to do something everyday, especially at night, then you might not want to do this. I wasn't joking when I wrote that I kept forgetting. I forgot more than I remembered.

Furthermore, I really don't think this is a topic that warrants a point-counterpoint article. 

Because, you know, it's a toy. 

But I will say this. My kids loved it. They jumped out of bed each morning saying "I wonder where Sparkles will be today? Let's see if we can find her!" And they'd go together on a great hunt.

It made me so happy to see them excited and working together to find the elf. When my daughter was at her sickest she still wanted to find Sparkles. Which caused me to do some quick thinking because I, of course, forgot to move her and she went right to the old spot before I could adjust. I improvised and said she was so worried about E that she stayed the whole night and will be reporting to Santa that night. I think it worked, she didn't ask again. But then again, she was really sick. I could have probably said anything & she wouldn't have cared.

The moral of the story: Elf on the Shelf was fun. I'll probably do it again--or be forced to, since I introduced this new tradition to them...and because Grandma got Sparkles a Christmas present: some new clothes and a pet (yes, apparently the little elf gets a reindeer) for next year. The kids are already talking about giving her the gifts.
But I'm not complaining. Seeing the joy on their faces each morning made any middle of the night scramble well worth it.

{P.S. If you like reading about my holiday craziness, check out the first time we visited a tree farm for our Christmas tree or all our picture-perfect visits to Santa over the years.}

xo Sara

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Friday Favorites

My current favorite thing is...

Spending New Year's Eve with my husband!

I'm really not a huge NYE party person. If I had it my way we would celebrate as a family, in our house, very low-key. But, you see, I'm married to a rock star (at least that's what he tells me) and if I want to spend NYE with my spouse I need to go where he is since he's working.

NYE is the biggest party night of the year so of course a working band in the Twin Cities would be booked. Marc's band (American Bootleg -- FB/Twitter/Instagram) has been lucky enough to have a recurring gig at Lord Fletcher's every year. I've spent more NYEs at Lord Fletcher's than I can remember (due to there being so many not because of other reasons...). 

I don't always love it but some years I really embrace it. The year before we got pregnant with Elena was a big year. The bandmates had all their friends there (some coming from out of town) and we had a pre-party and a post-party. It's amazing the energy you have pre-kids. And all of us were pre-kids in those days. Ahhhhh, youth. 

Last year the wives of the bandmates decided to get all fancied up. It was fun dressing up (especially with my endless supply of accessories) and going out. Plus, I was able to once again wear my most favorite little black lace dress I got in Vegas. I don't have very many reasons to wear a LBD (shocking as a stay-at-home-mom, I know) and this one is a really cute party dress. So my dressed up self had a good time ringing in the new year.

Then there are the years that I'm really not all that excited to be hanging in a bar. Specifically NYE 2009. Pregnant and tired. Not really a "party on" year.  Luckily in 2010, when I was once again pregnant AND had a 7 month at home, the band did not have a gig. A rarity for that crazy night, but couldn't have come at a more perfect time.

The older the kids get the more I want to celebrate with them...do the old "turn back the clocks a few hours" trick, have a little party and count down with them. Or host something--friends can come over and we can have a low-key night at our house with the kids and their friends celebrating in the basement. Oh the plans I'd make...

But, for now, I'll just settle for being with my husband when the clock strikes midnight no matter where he is. Whether it's at home or at a bar, I want to ring in the new year by the side of the man I'll travel that year with.

I'm content with this being my view on New Year's Eves going forward, as long as I get my kiss at midnight. Which I always do--get out of my way dancers. 
Happy 2015!

{P.S. In case you want more NYE fun, here's my post from last year--where you can see my most favorite little black dress!}

xo Sara

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