Thoughts of a SAHM--Morning/Target Trip Edition

Many days when my husband comes home from work he says something to the effect of: 

"Hey, slow down a minute, I'm home. I can help. Right now I just feel like I'm getting in your way." 

He's right...he is. But it's not his fault. I'm alone with my kids (and three days a week with 2 other kids, too) all day with no one to talk to besides a houseful of toddlers and preschoolers (and a dog).

And my head. 

I have lists in there. I have time tables. I have "this needs to get done before I can do that and I need to do it then because if I wait too long then {enter child's name here} will have a temper tantrum because that other thing isn't happening" circling in my noggin all day, everyday. So when my husband comes home it takes a bit for me to get out of my head and back to being a normal person. Well, as normal as this neurotic woman can be. 

Which makes sense. My husband has a roughly 30 minute commute home to decompress and leave work behind. Not that driving in rush hour traffic is the most relaxing thing, but he still has that transitional period. 

My transitional period is... well, considering I live where I work the transition from "the boss" to "the co-boss" is a hard one.

But his main complaint is that I don't really talk to him. I just run around him, might ask him to do something and if he doesn't do it like right.that.second. then I just do it. I keep going and going...as though I'm still alone, managing the kids, house, dog.

Reflecting on my mind activity the other day, I started to wonder what my daily thoughts were like and if I could try to capture them. 

Here are some of the highlights of just a couple of hours in my head (because no one needs to be in my head for too long--you may never get out).
One kid awake. 
5 more minutes.
Two kids awake. 
5 more minutes.
Two kids awake yelling for me. 
5 more minutes...
Ok, not happening. I need coffee.

10 minutes later. 
Is the coffee done yet? What is taking it so long?

2 minutes later. 
Ahhhhhhh, coffee. 
What can we do today that's fun. Maybe we'll do some crafts? I was reading about this cool idea the other day, what site was that...maybe I can find it...
Oh, I have alerts from Facebook! Let's check that.
This coffee is so good. 
What was I doing? Oh, yes, the craft...
Crap! What time is it! We're going to be late for preschool!

5 minutes later.
Why does E move so slowly? If I tell her we're late she moves slower. If I act stressed she'll get upset. So I'll just be calm and patient. I'll model patience. She needs that. I'll...

5 minutes later.
Ok. So I probably shouldn't have just snapped at her and told her to put her socks on her feet and not her hands. Now I have a crying girl.

5 minutes later.
Let's think about this. I need 5 minutes for her hair (those snarls!), we can get breakfast done in 15, I'll clean up when we get home. I'll line up boots at the door and get coats ready. Her backpack is on the door, shoes in it. I think we'll get there only like 3 minutes late. Which is basically on time. Actually it's early. We're totally fine.

5 minutes later.
Why do I get E dressed before breakfast. There's always a spill.

5 minutes later.
Ok, we'll be like 5 minutes late, still fine.

2 minutes later.
B needs a toy. And, of course, not just any toy, but the one car we can't find before we leave. Let's think about this. He likes to push his cars into tunnels or under things. Look under the couches. No. Look under the bench. No. Look in the heating grate...of course.

5 minutes later.
I shouldn't have scolded him. And now I have a crying boy. 7 minutes late. Just as long as I make it before 10 minutes. Because that's late.

1 minute later.
I forgot to feed the dog. I really am a horrible person. 7 1/2 minutes late.

1 minute later. 
I need new mittens. I can't buckle the kids in with these darn things on. Maybe after we drop E off at school we can go to Target. That would be so nice. I can buy a nice cup of coffee, we can wander around, have some mother/son bonding. It will be the best morning ever.

2 minutes later.
I forgot E's bag. 8 minutes late.

1 minute later.
I'll get a mocha. No, I wonder if they'll still have gingerbread lattes. Maybe just an americano, I'm feeling simple. And a croissant. I am so excited. This is turning out to be a great morning. 

2 minutes later.
I forgot my purse. It's sitting by the heating vent. 

1 minute later.
Of course, since we are running about 8 minutes late there are no parking spots. 

3 minutes later.
Why does she seriously move so s-l-o-w. I don't understand how she can take so long to take off her boots and slip on shoes. I wish I could just carry her. Not have to deal with boots. I could throw her over my shoulder and just carry her across the parking lot like a sack of potatoes. Anything is better than waiting for her to slip her boots off and slip her shoes on. That's literally all she has to do. Slip off. Slip on. It's like she knows I want her to hurry up. Is she being manipulative? Can you be manipulative at 4? Wait, where did B go...

1 minute later.
9 1/2 minutes late but under 10 minutes so I count it as a win. I rock.

10 minutes later.
Got purse, going to Target. I can't wait for my drink. B is so cute, he loves our errand mornings. This is perfect. We are so instagramable. Oh my god that is so cute. Instagramable. I obviously need to instagram our instagramable cuteness. 

10 minutes later.
So I knew he could scream but I didn't know he could scream SO loud. My eardrum is shattered. I seriously think it's ringing. All because they were out of Madeleine cookies. How do you run out of those darn little cookies? Those are like mommy bribery central. It's their fault he got so upset. They should have had them.

1 minute later.
Ok. It might have been my fault a little. Whatever. He's happy now. So I rock again.

1 minute later.
What was I coming here for again...
Well I need bread. And milk. And cereal. When don't we need those things? What is going to be like raising teenagers? I already feel like they eat so much. Teenagers. I can't imagine. It feels so far away but with E starting kindergarten in just a few months and then B next year...it's going to be here before I know it. 

1 minute later.
I will not start crying in Target. I will not start crying in Target. I will not start crying in Target.

10 minutes later.
I should not have stopped by the clearance section. Just a bad idea. I gotta get out of here before I find more that I need.

10 minutes later.
It is so darn hard getting B buckled in with these mittens. I really need a new pair...

Oh. 

I guess we can come back tomorrow.

*****

I hope you survived that jaunt into my brain. Luckily you get to leave. I'm stuck living here.

{P.S. If you like reading about imagined thoughts, check out this time I wrote about what I imagined my daughter was really thinking throughout a day.}

xo Sara

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Times My Son Has Made Me Laugh

I always say that my kids make me laugh more than anything. It really is hard to be in a bad mood around them. Not impossible, we have our days, but hard. Here is a small sampling of a few times my son has made me laugh...or, at a minimum, smile...recently.
B likes to sing himself to sleep sometimes and over the holidays he was kind of obsessed with Frosty the Snowman. One night I heard him sing a new version:
"Mom-my the gi-irl, 
was a jolly happy girl."

Often when I change his sheets, he'll go to the front of his fire engine bed (which he calls 'Lightning') and says:
"It's ok, Lightning, we're fixing you. It's ok. It's almost done. It's ok...there! All done. Don't you feel better?" (All the while patting the top of the bed.)

Neil Diamond was singing on the TV. B points and yells:
"Daddy!" (I AM married to a rock star! Who knew?)

Regarding bedtime/naptime being over.
In a demanding mood:
"Mommy! Open. The. Door. NOW!"
Begging:
"Mommy, you want to open the door pleeeeeeeeeease?"
Encouraging:
"Mommy, you can open the door! Try! You can do it!"

When putting the towel around his waist after a bath to keep warm while I put lotion on his arms and face, he says:
"Ok, like Tarzan. AHHHHH-EEEEE!!!"

(Not so recent but I giggle every time I think of it. From last summer.)
Kids are anxiously awaiting Norah's arrival to celebrate her birthday. 
"I see her! I see Norah! Oh, no. That's not Norah, that's a house."

Finally, according to Brandon "happy new year" is too broad. Ever since January 1st, he's been saying, each morning: 
"Happy New Day!"

Each day is a "new day" full of new opportunities for him to make me laugh. Which he does.

Happy new day, friends!

{P.S. Here's a time I used E's words to describe her year.}

xo Sara

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Life Lessons, Straight from Mommy

I recently had a mommy moment that made me laugh until I cried. Cried out of incredibility. The things a distracted mommy will say to a whining boy without even thinking about it...until it's already out. 

Every night when the kids finish dinner and their fruit, they get to pick a desert. They call it "candy" because for awhile we had Halloween candy and they would choose from there. Now their choices range from Hershey kisses to granola bars. They get excited about deciding for themselves what they get and it's nice bribery for eating dinner and waiting for everyone to finish. Plus, it's a little treat and who doesn't like that?

One evening I left the table to do something and B asked for me to give him his candy. I told him daddy would do it and went into the other room. I heard daddy trying to give him his choices but he kept yelling for me to do it. Daddy gave up and when I returned I asked why he didn't let daddy help him. He said he wanted to wait for me. I distractedly replied that while that was nice, if someone is offering him candy he should just take it and be happy.

Yes. I'll stop for a moment and let you reread that sentence.

A sentence that I actually said OUT LOUD to my kids.

If someone is offering you candy, you should just take it and be happy.

Just take candy from anybody who is offering.

What. The. Heck. 

As soon as I said those words I stopped, said, "No, that's not what I meant..." and then daddy cut me off and explained that he was just trying to help, all the while shaking his head at me. 

And then I started laughing. I couldn't stop. Like belly laughs, snorting included.

I had just told my children that if someone is offering them candy they should just take it. 

Oh my--please don't call the parent patrol on me.
{P.S. If you love reading about my parenting missteps (because there are a lot of them and I write about them all. the. time.), check out Cars and Tunnels, Noisy Acting, or No More No.}

xo Sara

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Reflections on an Elf

I gave in this year and jumped on the "Elf on the Shelf" bandwagon. Which is funny considering I started to see this little elf-thingy pop up on my social media feeds (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter) a couple of years ago and had NO idea what it was. I actually thought it was a really old tradition that I had never heard of and while it looked cute, I moved on and didn't think much more about it.

Then there was last year. Oh my goodness. It. Was. Everywhere. Due to a severe case of FOMO (fear of missing out), I decided to do some investigating. I started asking around, trying to figure out what all the cool kids were doing.

A friend told me that it's a newer thing and it's a set you buy: a book (that explains the story) and an elf. She also warned me that it's a whole production. The elf watches the kids. Makes sure they are good and reports to Santa nightly. Then returns in a new spot in the house the next morning. (Oh, and the rules! Do NOT touch that elf...it will take away the magic!)

Well, I thought, that's cute enough. And I'm certainly not above using bribery to (attempt to) make my kids behave. 

So last year, on December 26, I took a little trip to Target. I thought maybe I could find one and maybe, just maybe, it would even be on sale since it was the day after Christmas.

But, no. It was not on sale and I was shocked to see the price. $29.95!

Before I continue, I am NOT judging you if you bought one at that price. I just had a hard time coming to terms with this new "tradition" I kept seeing pop up everywhere and the pressure I was feeling to participate (granted, of my own doing--certainly no one was forcing me to join in). Then, when I finally found this magical elf just to see the marketing machine hard at work, well, I felt a little disappointed. I decided it was just too expensive, for me.

So, that was that. We would not be participating. I was mostly ok with it. But I felt a little upset. Mainly because I really, really, really appreciate ANYTHING I can use to bribe my kids. ANY. LITTLE. THING.

Then a crazy thing happened! I went to a Barnes and Noble and there were the elves. For sale. $7. No book, but at least an elf.

I snatched one up, returned home and packed it away. Maybe I could make this work after all. 

Fast forward to a few weeks before Thanksgiving and on a whim I posted to some online garage sale sites that I was in search of an Elf on the Shelf book. Just the book, no elf. And a day later a woman posted that she had one and I could have it. $3.

$3! So, if you're keeping score, that means I got the Elf on the Shelf book and elf for $10, total. I was feeling pretty proud of myself.

Until 2 things happened.

1. My kids were absolutely petrified of her (Sparkles) at first.
2. I realized my elf wasn't the "official" elf and started to have some insecurities about that...which I quickly got over because, come on. $7. Winning.

My kids lost their fear by the next morning, but that first day was pretty funny. After they refused to walk or stand by where I had placed her she had landed for the day, my daughter asked, "Is it real or a stuffed animal? Will it stay in the living room?" At bedtime she added, "Make sure my door is closed." And my son kept saying, "I scared. It scary."

So I wrote a note Sparkles wrote a note (due to the wonderful advice of a good friend) and the next morning everything was forgotten. They were excited. It was a new thing--and they loved the hunt each morning. Where would she be? 
All was well in the world.

Until 2 more things happened.

1. I kept forgetting to find a new place before I went to bed and would wake up in a panic.
2. I started seeing all the "Why We Don't do the Elf on the Shelf" and "Participating in Elf on the Shelf is Ruining Your Child" or "Elf on the Shelf: The Worst Thing in the World and You Should be Angry About It" articles/blog posts. (*I may have embellished one, or more, of the titles.)

So, with any "cool new thing" the critics eventually enter with lots to say. I could link up to an article that explained all that is wrong with this "tradition" and do a point-counterpoint approach, but I don't have time for that. Because you know what?

Elf on the Shelf isn't for everyone. I have no desire to try to convince you that it is. You know your family, your kids. You know yourself. And trust me--if you have a hard time remembering to do something everyday, especially at night, then you might not want to do this. I wasn't joking when I wrote that I kept forgetting. I forgot more than I remembered.

Furthermore, I really don't think this is a topic that warrants a point-counterpoint article. 

Because, you know, it's a toy. 

But I will say this. My kids loved it. They jumped out of bed each morning saying "I wonder where Sparkles will be today? Let's see if we can find her!" And they'd go together on a great hunt.

It made me so happy to see them excited and working together to find the elf. When my daughter was at her sickest she still wanted to find Sparkles. Which caused me to do some quick thinking because I, of course, forgot to move her and she went right to the old spot before I could adjust. I improvised and said she was so worried about E that she stayed the whole night and will be reporting to Santa that night. I think it worked, she didn't ask again. But then again, she was really sick. I could have probably said anything & she wouldn't have cared.

The moral of the story: Elf on the Shelf was fun. I'll probably do it again--or be forced to, since I introduced this new tradition to them...and because Grandma got Sparkles a Christmas present: some new clothes and a pet (yes, apparently the little elf gets a reindeer) for next year. The kids are already talking about giving her the gifts.
But I'm not complaining. Seeing the joy on their faces each morning made any middle of the night scramble well worth it.

{P.S. If you like reading about my holiday craziness, check out the first time we visited a tree farm for our Christmas tree or all our picture-perfect visits to Santa over the years.}

xo Sara

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'Twas the Night After Christmas...

....and all hell broke loose at the Mutchler abode. 

For a few hours I honestly thought we had entered the twilight zone. 

Christmas day was in the books and although different this year, still a fun day. 

But there were warning signs that we weren't anywhere near normal. With the kids still battling their illnesses and my husband and I trying hard to not catch what they had, it was a day filled with laughter and busyness with new toys, but also with tears, coughs, tempter tantrums, nebulizer treatments, medicine, and lots of laying around. Bedtime couldn't come soon enough. 

But it did come. After we tucked them into bed, mom and dad settled in to watch a movie. Something we don't do as much as we'd like. But after watching a couple of holiday favorites the night before, we decided to keep the movie train rolling and turned on "Catching Fire," the second installment of the Hunger Games series. As a huge fan of the books it was embarrassing that I still hadn't seen this movie...especially with the next movie already out in theaters. 

We got through the majority of the movie with no issues. But I was feeling a sore throat and coughing more. I knew I was probably done for, but I ignored it, and continued watching the movie. 

I should have gone to bed. Maybe the rest could have been prevented. Somehow. 

With about an hour left in the movie my daughter started crying. This was rare for her and typically only happens when she's sick. We went into her room to see what was the matter. 

She was inconsolable. We think it was a bad dream and had no luck calming her down. We got her up, gave her some water, walked around with her. She finally settled a little and we returned her to bed. She was still a little upset, but seemed to be calming so we left. 

We settled back in to continue the movie. Ten minutes later the crying started, again. We returned to her room to find her in worse shape than before. We went through every thing we could think of in an attempt to calm her. Once again we thought we got her relatively calm and we left. 

Only to have my son wake up and start fussing. We didn't go in right away, we assumed he had just been awoken by E's crying. But, after a bit, I began to realize his crying wasn't getting better. It was, in fact, getting worse. Plus, not wanting to disturb his sister who was finally quiet, we hit pause on the movie (again!) and entered his room. 

To a smell and a scene I hope to never repeat. 

B had taken off his socks, pajama bottoms...and diaper. And had wet the bed. The complete bed. He and the bed were soaked.

(Yes, it could have been worse...what you may be envisioning happened earlier in the day. His fascination with his diaper and what's in it is not ok. The boy really needs to get potty trained. We are trying everything...suggestions are welcome.)

So he took a bath. At midnight. Or one...I don't remember the time. Late.

And then my daughter started crying again.

So we got her up to join the party. 

Both kept saying they wanted to get up, it was morning. My husband had to show them how dark it was outside in an effort to convince them it was not morning. Then my daughter wanted to sleep on the couch. To watch a cartoon. To do anything...but return to bed.

We decided to redo our bedtime routine. B went down relatively easy, he was falling asleep during the story. But E. She was ready for a battle. 

It took close to another 1/2 hour to get her settled. Maybe even 45 minutes. By the time it was done not only was I exhausted due to the time, but I was mentally and emotionally drained. 

And I was definitely getting sick. 

But we did finish the movie. I think. 

Moral of the story: If you're a parent, don't try to watch a movie. Bad things happen.

{P.S. If you would like further evidence of my daughter's headstrong nature, look no further than here. A day in the life of E's thoughts or at least how I imagine them to be.}

xo Sara

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Friday Favorites

{A rare Sunday "Friday Favorites" post. This was all set to go for Friday and then I caught the plague so I delayed publishing. It's been a long week.}

My current favorite thing is... 

Healing children! 

There are a lot of families dealing with sicknesses, including my own. 'Tis the season, I suppose. While my three-year-old boy has a bad cold (oh my goodness that runny nose...I can't keep up!), it's my four-year-old girl who is really sick...we're talking nebulizer treatment sick. 

1st ever nebulizer treatment in clinic; becoming a pro at home.

After a pretty bad, and at times scary, 48 hours, she (and my son) are finally healing. This has resulted in a quieter Christmas week than we had planned. Which put me in a bit of a funk because one of my favorite things about this time of year is our extended family gathering on Christmas Eve. All my aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents...everyone who is local and able (we're talking 30+ people!)...gather to celebrate this special season. We have dinner, presents (of the white elephant variety) and just simply enjoy the company of our loved ones. However, we, as a family, had to miss it. My son and I were there for a bit, but I really wanted to be home with daddy and my little girl who just wasn't up for a big gathering. 

This resulted in my being a little sad this year. Christmas was different. Quieter. So I had a pity party. 

For approximately five minutes.

Then I got over it. Because what I needed--a happy family--I had. Sure I didn't get to participate in all the fun this year, but what I do have far outweighs what I'm lacking.

Today is a just a short little post to remember to be thankful for what really matters. For me that's the health and happiness of my family. Because nothing else really matters. 

These two...they love each other so much. Melts my heart.

And my favorite--a healing girl and cuddles.

{P.S. In case you missed it, here is the post I wrote to the tune of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" about not forgetting what this holiday is really all about. Also, here's something I wrote last year about the quietness of my house during a round of illness back then.}

xo Sara

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Friday Favorites

My current favorite thing is... 

Cookie decorating day! 

My love for traditions has been well documented. And this past weekend we got to partake in one of my favorite yearly activities--our annual cookie bake and decorating day. 

My sister and I grew up doing this with my grandma and aunt and my mom took up the tradition after they passed away. And I'm so grateful for that because now my kids get to enjoy this yearly event and hopefully have as many memories from it as I do.

Growing up the biggest thing I got out of this day was a mega tummy ache because I probably ate more decorations than I actually used for the cookies. We had basically everything we could ever want to put on our sugar cookies and gingerbread men: frosting, sprinkles, chocolate chips, coconuts strips, cherries, m&ms, mints, licorice, nuts... We spent hours decorating cookies that years later I wonder if anyone actually ate because they were loaded with all. the. stuff.

My kids, at 3 and 4, are just entering the age of enjoying this activity. Especially my daughter. "Painting" cookies, as she refers to it.  

So every year my sister and I, my kids, and any cousins that care to decorate make the short little trek to my mom's house. She has the perfect setting for this adventure...see below. This was taken before the madness started. I love her dining area; a perfect space for a day of decorating. Plus, beautiful scenery right outside the window. 
Some of our masterpieces...and goodness do I have talented family members.
My sister-in-law made that smurf on the top row out of an upside down stocking. How freakin' cool is that? I also like her liberty bell and the profile of Santa, also created out of a stocking shape.

We always make a stocking for every family member that will be at our annual Christmas Eve gathering. It was a fun tradition that started accidentally but has stuck over the years.
Some other snapshots of the day. 
I also wanted to share a couple of last year's creations. First of all, did you know that if you just flip over the gingerbread man you get a reindeer? Yeah, my mind was blown, too. Also, my mom got creative and found this idea online: melted snowmen.

One thing we haven't made in several years that I always remember having with my dad's family is krumkake. I need to find a good recipe (and get some tools?) and do that...I loved that growing up. 

Do you have a favorite sweet that you enjoy this time of year?

{P.S. Although I love decorating cookies they really aren't my favorite thing to eat...find out the food I could NOT live without and other random things about me here.}

xo Sara

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Top 10 Reasons My Daughter Cried This Morning

Having preschoolers is like constantly walking a tightrope of emotion. One wrong move and you crash and burn. Except it's not just a misstep that can cause a wreck, it's looking at them wrong. Or just looking at them. Doing something that you swear every other day they love but on that particular day it's enough to cause a complete breakdown. It's saying the wrong thing...which is usually followed by an hour of trying to figure out what the heck was said. 

So, in honor of the ever-shifting moods of preschoolers, here are the top 10 reasons my daughter cried this morning.

1. I didn't say "Good Morning" loud enough.
2. Then I said it too loud.
3. She asked for some lotion and I started to put it. I put it on the wrong spot. And then she wanted it off.
4. Her brother was looking at her.
5. My hair was down, she wanted it in a bun. Then the bun was not high enough.
6. Her arm was not going in her sweater the right way, "No arm! This way!"
7. Our dog was looking at her.
8. The placemat at the table was not perfectly placed on the edge.
9. I gave her the wrong cup for milk. 
10. I was looking at her.

And then repeat. It was a bad morning. But don't worry. It got better.

It got better after she went to bed and I got some wine.

**I wrote this awhile ago but never published it here. This list did make an appearance on my Facebook page. After a rough morning last week, I relived remembered it.**

{P.S. If you like Top 10 lists, here's my Top 10 Reasons My Daughter Got Out of Bed Last Night.}

xo Sara

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